In no particular order,
1. My dog thinks anything can be obtained (from bread crumb to t-bone) by sitting patiently and staring longingly at the object. She thinks as long as she lines up her white paw and gold paw in perfect, adorable sitting position (the doggy version of sorority t-feet), she will eventually get what she wants - and she usually does. Politeness and good manners will take you far in life.
2. In the same vein of polite begging, I've noticed if you're eating chips, or something that could easily fall on the floor, my dog will stare at the floor instead of at the food in your hand, and then dash across the floor for the food when you drop it. There's probably some football analogy about how tacklers watch people's feet instead of face or something, but yeah, figure out the best way to achieve your goal and stay focused.
3. Floor kibbles (those are kibble pieces that, for whatever reason, have ended up outside the dog bowl) are not to be eaten; it's just uncivilized. A discarded chicken wing found in a bush during a walk, however, is a culinary treasure to be savored (. . .or snatched up and swallowed whole). Don't waste calories on food that's not tasty; save them for something delicious.
4. Loud noises are serious threats and are to be treated as such. The best course of action is to find a human and sit ON TOP of them. Don't be afraid to ask for help (your human will replace the smoke alarm batteries and it will stop beeping, promise).
4. My dog has a permanent ruffled fur spot at the top of her tail from constantly wagging it. Like smile and laugh lines, physical reminders of a life well spent are something to be proud of.
5. My dog hates other dogs (she's been kicked out of doggy daycare for only hanging out with the owner and not playing with the dogs, and from dog parks for overly aggressive butt sniffing). It's. . . inconvenient, to say the least. Try to get along with your species; it makes everything easier.
6. Rain is ok; snow is the best.
7. Good dental health is not to be overlooked. If you don't know a dog's age, one of the only ways you can tell is by how clean their teeth are. Abnormally clean teeth are the botox of the dog world, and a lady never reveals her age.
8. Ice cream is a food group and home is where the Frosty Paws are.
9. If a human is not petting you correctly it is your responsibility to nudge them with your nose until they get the hang of it. As Oprah says, we teach people how to treat us.
10. Always best to err on the side of caution. Everyday my dog barks at people who stomp up the stairs, and I haven't been robbed once.
11. And finally, just because you're not a "breed" doesn't mean you're not fantastic. Just because you don't fit a mold doesn't mean you're not as good as everyone else - it probably means you're better.
