Because I'm an excellent judge of character (I'm not, thanks for being my friend anyway), here are your spirit dogs. And also, watch Parks and Rec where they find their spirit dogs, because it's really funny.
April decides to assign everyone in the Parks office a spirit dog.
Jake
You believe anything worth having is worth working hard for. You're motivated and determined. You prefer to be by yourself and fare well in cold weather. You're way too smart for your own good and very witty. You don't like for people to be able to guess your character right off the bat and only really open up with people you have known for a long time. - and you're big and blond and of Eastern European descent. You're a Kuvasz.
"an intelligent dog and is often described as having a clownish sense of humor which can last throughout their adolescence and into adulthood. They are intensely loyal yet patient pets who appreciate attention but may also be somewhat aloof or independent, as well as thoroughly cunning, particularly with strangers. They rank a low 42nd in Stanley Coren's The Intelligence of Dogs, but keep in mind that Coren's criteria focus on how fast a dog can learn obedience "tricks"—a limited test of intelligence. The Kuvasz breed is for experienced handlers only. The combination of intelligence, independence, and protectiveness make obedience training and socialization absolute necessities. They are strictly working dogs, bred for centuries to think independently and act without instruction, scanning and evaluating the environment and taking protective or deterrent action as needed. This was a vital trait in their solitary duties protecting livestock. That independence can make training a difficult task, wearing on the patience of even experienced owners. Kuvasz quickly understand what is being asked of them, but they have to respect a person as a trusted leader before they'll obey commands. They're also not usually interested in meaningless activity, such as doing entertaining tricks."
"despite its sweet looks, the Kuvasz is a tough protector, fearlessly defending its family or home. It is gentle with and protective of children in its own family, but it may misinterpret a child's rough-and-tumble games with other children as attacks on its child. It is reserved with strangers and may be aggressive toward strange dogs; however, it tends to be very gentle with other pets and livestock. It is devoted and loyal but not very demonstrative."
"the Kuvasz has a very special, close connection to his owner or family, as well as anyone in their circle, human or animal, that the dog considers part of the flock. He will protect all of them. He may also police interactions among them, such as discouraging rough play by herding rowdy individuals away from the group." (kinda like a bouncer or offensive lineman - boom!)
Mia
You take pride in being a teacher and enjoy being good at it. You are family-oriented and super protective of them and your close friends. You can be reserved until you get to know someone, but once someone is your friend they are your friend for life. You're comfortable in the company of others and by yourself. And you have pretty brown hair with gold highlights. You're an Australian Shepherd.
"may show reserved and cautious guarding behaviors. They are kind, loving, and devoted to those they know. They are very loyal to their owners, and are rewarding dogs if treated well. Because the breed was developed to serve on the ranch, a job which includes being protective of its property, it is inclined to bark warnings about neighborhood activity."
"do best with plenty of human companionship: they are often called "Velcro Dogs" for their strong desire to always be near their owners and for their tendency to form intense, devoted bonds with select people"
"has a reputation as a highly intelligent and versatile stock dog with a range of working styles. A good working Aussie is quick, thoughtful, and easy with its stock (stock, eighth graders, same thing. . .). The ability for the breed to adapt to the situation and think for itself makes it an excellent all-around worker."
Taunja
You're selfless without being a pushover. You are nice and intelligent and sensitive. You are a morning person and introvert. You have to have alone time to decompress (see below - decorative couch potatoes). You have a lot of left brain qualities (you're proofreading skills are top notch), but are also a creative problem solver. You're patient, extremely thoughtful, and want the best for those close to you. You're a Borzoi.
"a quiet, but athletic and independent dog. Most Borzoi are almost silent, barking only very rarely. They do not have strong territorial drives and cannot be relied on to raise the alarm upon sighting a human intruder. The Borzoi is extremely smart and requires patient, experienced handling. They are gentle and highly sensitive dogs with a natural respect for humans, and as adults they are decorative couch potatoes with remarkably gracious house manners."
"never display dominance or aggression towards people, but will turn aggressive if handled roughly. Typically however, they are rather reserved to strangers but affectionate to their people. Sensitive to invasion of their personal space"
"they are very sensitive and do not cope well with harsh treatment or training based on punishment, and will be extremely unhappy if raised voices and threats are a part of their daily life. However, like any intelligent dog, Borzois respond extremely well to the guidance, support, and clear communication of a benevolent human leadership."
"known for raising exceptional puppies who become amazing dogs"
Ashley
You're a great mom. You're patient when it is appropriate, but assertive when need be. You're outgoing and confident, but aren't talkative unless you have something to say. You like adventure and the outdoors. You have a lot of mental and physical energy and need outlets for it. You make casual friends easily, but take longer to form close relationships. You're a Bouvier des Flandres.
"steady, stalwart companion that is loyal, devoted, fearless and protective. Given daily exercise, it is calm and well-mannered indoors, but ready for an adventure in the great outdoors. It is independent and confident of its own judgment, yet biddable and willing to please. It can be domineering. It is reserved, even protective, toward strangers and can be aggressive with strange dogs. It is very good with children"
"are rational, gentle, loyal, and protective by nature. The breed's particular blend of characteristics makes them good family pets, as well as keen guard dogs. Unlike some animals bred for aggressive nature and power, the Bouvier possesses sophisticated traits, such as complex control, intelligence, and accountability."
"an obedient dog with a pleasant nature. They look intimidating, but are actually calm and gentle. They are enthusiastic, responsible, even-tempered, and fearless, and are excellent guard and watchdogs that are easy to train. This breed learns commands relatively fast. However, Bouviers get bored easily and learn best when repetition is limited."
"the breed is naturally aloof with strangers. Protection of the family when danger is present is not something that needs to be taught, nor is it something one can train out of them. The dog will rise to the occasion if needed. A good family dog, the Bouvier likes, and is excellent with, children. The Bouvier is very adaptable and goes about its business quietly and calmly."
Pumpkin
You're generous and kind. You can make friends easily, but take longer to truly trust people. You are happy when you are active and need challenging activities to keep you from being bored. You are independent and creative and clever. You are easy going when you want to be yet protective when it is called for. You have an big heart and love your family. You are capable of pulling off a variety of lovely hair styles and colors, which obviously makes you a Portugeuse Water Dog.
"attentive, reflecting its spirited disposition"
"gregarious, fun-loving, family-loving, water-loving dog. It is good with children, and other dogs and pets. It is sensitive and responds well to direction. It is a good breed for an active person wanting an adventurous, affectionate, biddable partner."
"make excellent companions. They are loving, independent, and intelligent and are easily trained in obedience and agility skills. Once introduced, they are generally friendly to strangers, and enjoy being petted, which, due to their soft, fluffy coats, is a favor that human beings willingly grant them (hair so shiny!)"
"willing and able to follow complex commands. They learn very quickly, seem to enjoy training, and have a long memory. These traits and their non-shedding coats mean they excel at the various Service Dog roles. They also make unusually good therapy dogs."
"comfortable indoors as well as outdoors. Though very gregarious animals, these dogs will typically bond with one primary family member. The modern PWD, whether employed on a boat or kept as a pet or a working dog, loves water, attention, and prefers to be engaged in activity within sight of a human partner. This is not a breed to be left alone for long periods of time, indoors or out."
"will commonly jump as a greeting. Some PWDs may walk, hop, or "dance" on their hind legs when greeting or otherwise enthusiastic."
"while they are very good companions to people who understand what they need, Portuguese Water Dogs are not for everyone. Because of their intelligence and working drive, they require regular intensive exercise as well as mental challenges. They are gentle and patient — but not couch potatoes."
Liz
You can get along with anyone, if you want to. If you like someone, you reward them with your friendship and unwavering support. You love new things and need constant stimulation (cat posts are highly suggested for Lizes). You have an enthusiasm for life and like making the world around you better. You are the rare personality type that I just made up of extrovert and introvert. You love being social and are energized by social activities, but equally at ease in your own thoughts or by decompressing with alone time. Your spirit dog is a cat. You're a Tonkinese.
"a winsome personality. Faithful followers say the Tonkinese has the best of both breeds. Its voice is milder in tone than the Siamese; however, it does believe in feline free speech (cat suffrage!) and wants to share all of the day's adventures with you when you come home in the evening. The Tonkinese craves, and returns, affection and companionship. Unlike the rest of your busy family, it will always join you for dinner. It has an unflagging enthusiasm for life and life's pleasures, and loves interactive toys such as human fingers (that's what she said) and the tails of its cat companions. It makes every close encounter a game. While Tonkinese cats willingly adapt to humans and animals alike, they may annoy more sedate breeds and therefore might do better with members of their own breed or other active breeds."
"they are lively, friendly, often talkative cats, with gregarious personalities, and can live indoors if given enough exercise"
"Tonkinese are commonly trim and muscular cats. They are typically heavier than they appear to be, due to their very muscular bodies. They are unusually intelligent, curious, affectionate with people, and interested in them. Tonkinese cats are playful cats, but not hyperactive, although they can be mischievous if they become lonesome or bored. Some interesting toys and a cat tree, or, better yet, another Asian cat such as a Tonkinese, Oriental, Burmese, Siamese, or Snowshoe can keep them busy when they're lonely. They have a great personality and get along with children and other pets. "
"The Tonkinese is a very loyal cat, and very loving on his/her own terms. They seek attention when they are ready, but it is an unconditional love to those that are close to them that makes them great pets."